On Aging

In a few hours I will turn thirty four. I would like to believe that I have earned every gray hair. Every fat cell is a battle wound with a story to tell. Every migraine deserves good drugs because I fight for them. I sit and ponder what thirty four means to me. I still feel sixteen, in many ways. I can still go out and party like it's 1999 (actually, I was pregnant with my firstborn in 1999.) I can still get down and dance the Cupid Shuffle or any other popular dance craze out there. My radio is tuned to the same stations that the high school kids are listening to. Yet I force myself to be a responsible adult. I care for the four children that were entrusted to our care by G-d himself, meticulously. Sometimes Almost always, the house is messy, but it is always clean. I am no longer my main focus. Caring for my husband and kids consumes most of my time. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I am on the verge of accepting a very grown up job. I feel great about that - it will be good to be a professional person. What do I have to look forward to? I hope that I will see my children grow into the kind of teenagers and adults that I am working so hard to raise them to be. Kind and compassionate, yet strong and responsible. Bright and witty, yet capable of caring for and about every creature. Pious, yet worldly. I know that with G-d's help they can all turn out this way. I envision myself beaming with pride at their graduations and crying tears of happiness at their weddings. Once you leave this world, nobody really cares how you scored on an exam or what kind of money you made. Your children are your legacy - they are what you leave behind. And I wish to leave a gift to the world. Because that is all that is important.