Control

Lately I have found being an adult to be a great challenge. It is not that I don't enjoy the freedoms that come along with being 34 years old, but the responsibilities are daunting. When the responsibilities are not met, I feel as though my life spins out of control. As a very young child I had a recurrent dream of being caught in the vortex of a tornado. This dream has been somewhat indicative of what my life of an adult is like. When the sink piles high with dishes, I feel powerless over the caked on dirt and set-in oil. When the kids are all tired, snotty, whining, yelling and crying, my brains spin out of control. I want to run into a closet and cover my ears with fluffy pillows. Not unlike the way that, as a child, I avoided homework until the last minute, when it was all too overwhelming for me. I need to figure out a way to get over the overwhelmingness of it all and concentrate on living my life in a way that I can control it, as a responsible adult.